Previous Carnage
A filthy flick through the ghosts of pantos past. Brace yourself - it only gets worse the further you scroll.
🏴☠️Treasure Island (2024/25)
Ahoy, filthy landlubbers! Long John Johnson and his suspiciously long weapon led the crew to a tropical island where Benny Bangs ran a fully functional sex cult. With baby-handed Lizzie Thrustington pointing the way and the ghost of Captain Clit moaning from the afterlife, this was one voyage where X marks the G-spot.
🤠Yeehaw! (2023/24)
An original Far Out Creation that put the bang in bang-bang. Billy the Kid, Annie Oakley, Doc Holliday, and the rest of the trigger-happy gang faced off in a Wild West bloodbath where bananas were guns, love was complicated, and death was guaranteed. Saloon seductress Miss Kitty ruled the roost (and accidentally killed Seamus), setting off Little Jimmy’s absurd revenge arc. Party poppers flew, hearts broke, and Maddie Garrett fell for a dying gunslinger.
A pantomime where the body count outnumbered the punchlines - and that’s saying something.
🐮Hey, Fiddle Diddle! (2022/23)
A riotous pantomime mash-up that tore up the storybooks and rewrote them with filth, flair, and a cow with a comically large appendage. Jack Trott (of beanstalk fame) and his mother got tangled up with a foul-mouthed Red Riding Hood, a dangerously horny Rapunzel, and a worm-fed Cinderella just trying to get to the ball, and Prince Charles (yes, that Charles) came courting.
Meanwhile, chaos reigned: Pinocchio was an insufferable woke puppet with a nose that grew every time he tweeted, Dave the Bluebird was aggressively German, and Rumpelstiltskin schemed with his eggy minion, Humpty Dumpty. Spoiler: the egg did not survive.
🔪Saucy Jacky (2021/22)
Jack stayed masked. The women took the spotlight.
A grubby, gory East End panto retelling the lives of the Ripper’s five victims - with a filthy twist. Meet Mary-Jane Kelly, Long Liz, Dark Annie, Chick (and her cursed sock puppet), and Pearly Poll, all dodging danger, gin, and terrible men.
Dickie Darkhole tried to save the day (and get the girl), but with suspects like Dr. Kuntz, Bent-Neck Eddie, Big Willie Wilmott and Wilfred ‘Bloody’ Kopinski… it was never going to end cleanly.
The Dame ran the Ten Bells and the only thing louder than the crowd was her cleavage.
🍎Snow White and the Seven Whores (2019/20)
Once upon a time… in a bordello.
Snow White was a drip, the dwarves were replaced by seven rank sex workers, and Dame Freida Flaps ran the Battered Badger with an iron vajazzle.
Snow White’s stepmother? A fairy tale queen by the way of the Third Reich, complete with a camp magic mirror with nipple-swastikas. Throw in hench-men creatures Fiddle and Diddle, a sheet-changing silly boy called Jizzrag, and Prince Nobby - a posh gap-year wanker- and you’ve got a fairy tale that should never be read to children.
Beautiful chaos. Unforgettable music. And absolutely no morals.
🏹Robin Hood and the Babes in the Wood (2018/19)
A filthy frolic through Sherwood Forest with two utterly grotesque “babes”- Pinkie Pie and Trixie Twat - who looked like they’d escaped from a cursed brony convention. Robin Hood was a swaggering sex pest with a hero complex, Maid Marion a co-dependent mess who turned into a raging nympho halfway through, and the Merry Men were permanently stoned. Prince John tottered about with a stuffed fox on a skateboard, the Sheriff of Nottingham wanted a piece of everything, and somewhere in the middle of it all, there was a drug-dealing silly boy, Nutty Neville, and a makeover montage that involved a lot of lycra. It all ended with a bit of anal, if you’re into that sort of thing.
🐀Dick Whittington (2017/18)
A classic tale of rags, rats, and raging egos - loosely based on the traditional panto, only far ruder. Dick set off with his furious feline sidekick, Pussy, in search of fame, fortune, and political clout. Along the way, he clashed with bigoted bureaucrats, fell arse-over-heels for Alice Fitztightly, and faced a rodent infestation that would make the Pied-Piper weep. We’re a bit hazy on the rest (it was a long time ago and there was tequila involved),but we’re fairly certain there was a man in a dress and someone fell off a boat. Possibly on purpose.
🧞Aladdin (2016/17)
The one that started it all. We took the bones of the traditional tale, added a throbbing lamp, a gaping cave, a bucket of lube, and a whole lot of questionable decisions. Aladdin entered the muff - sorry, cave - in full scuba gear, Widow Twanky (or was it Widow Wanky?) flapped about in crusty underwear, and the villain had a beer-belly, back hair, and unresolved trauma. We definitely remember the Gentleman’s Wash (don’t Google it), a lot of underlaundry-based chaos, and realising somewhere around the third cum joke that this was exactly what we were born to do.